Venting One

2004-09-18T22:12:00.001-05:00

No idea why my sis decided to come home this weekend.....I can't believe I actually told Kev that I was looking forward to her homecoming....Speaking of Kevin..I love my boy!

2004-09-18T22:12:00.000-05:00

No idea why my sis decided to come home this weekend.....I can't believe I actually told Kev that I was looking forward to her homecoming....Speaking of Kevin..I love my boy!

2004-08-12T22:23:00.000-05:00

No I have not died.......I had nothing to say.....and no time! Now I have a lot to say well maybe not but at least a little. I will do that all soon. All I am going to say tonight is......

What Has The World Come To....We Are Getting A Dog!

2004-07-08T17:33:00.000-05:00

Buy the Switchfoot Cd it is well worth it!!! I love it!!! That's all I have to say.

2004-07-02T14:59:00.000-05:00

Went to the car show in Solon a couple nights ago. I went with my Dad, cousin Laura, cousin Lisa her husband Chris, cousin Tracy, her husband Steve, cousin Kenny, and Uncle Ed. My uncle Ken and uncle John were there too. My uncle John owns a vintage car that he shows. I ended up walking around mostly with my Laura who is my age and Lisa who is around 26 maybe who like I said is married, she also has a kid. Lisa loves checking out the guys though and finding ones that would be good for Laura and I. The whole night the 3 of us left everyone else and went in search for some guys....I mean what girl actually goes to a car show to look at the cars?! We found a few very nice looking boys. There was a group of 3 that either we were in front of them or, they were in front of us. We didn't talk to them but when we were leaving they walked past us and Lisa yelled, "Bye Boys." really loud. When we went down one row of cars. I saw one kinda cute guy. I pointed him out to the others then looked away at someone else. When I looked back the guy who I thought was cute had his camera phone out and was taking pictures of us, as we walked toward him. I wasn't sure at first but as we walked past him and away from him, his phone followed us where ever we went. Well at least until we were done with that row of cars. It was kind of weird. When we walked past him we turned around to see if he was still taking pictures and he was, so Lisa reached to Laura who was next to her and grabbed her ass. Just so she could get a reaction from the guy who was taking pictures of us. It was classic. I actually did end up talking to this really hot guy who was selling one of his vintage cars. Lisa and I were pretending to be interested in the car to get things started. So Lisa said it, looks really nice inside, and I was like yep..."Real Nice Back Seat" the guy kinda laughed and was like u can get in if you want. Then my dad came over and so did some of the other "older" people so that ended, and we left. Damn old people.

2004-06-23T14:05:00.000-05:00

Both these songs seem to have about the same meaning for me, about finding who you are and what you want to be and do in your life. I believe these new friendships will help me do, just that! (Read previous post if you have no clue what I am talking about)

2004-06-23T14:04:00.000-05:00

Some lyrics by Gavin DeGraw....

I Don't Want To Be Lyrics

I don't need to be anything other
Than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other
Than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anything other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
I don't want to be
Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be

2004-06-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

Here is a song that I really like by Switchfoot...

This Is Your Life

yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
yesterday is a promise that you've broken
don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
this is your life and today is all you've got now
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
yesterday is a kid in the corner
yesterday is dead and over
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
this is your life are you who you want to be
this is your life are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
and you had everything to lose

2004-06-23T13:27:00.000-05:00

I was watching some show I think this morning and one person said on it something along the lines of...You will have many friends in your life, each friend contributing something different. You go through periods with different friends and when that period of your life is over that friendship is over. Not exactly the whole friendship is over but the part of it when you were really close. The part of your life that you needed that person has gone by...time to make new friends to contribute to the next part of your life.
-Actually it was something much shorter then that but that was basically what it meant. I can't remember the exact words. I have had many friends in my life. Some since I was very young that I have kept till ever since then. Example Andrea. I have known her since I was 2. We used to live across the street from each other and played all the time. Since then I have grown apart from her a little but still have remained friends because of our moms. Now we recently have been hanging out on our time, not because of our moms. I felt like I needed her when I was young, now I feel like she has something to contribute to me now. There are many people that I can give examples about but it is basically the same of how we have grown apart and have not spoken for years. The friend I believe I just recently lost is one of my best friends Jessica. She lives across the street from me now. I don't really know why we lost touch...well I have some ideas but I believe I have already mentioned them in past blogs and don't feel like going forward with that thought. In the past year we haven't really hung out much, so it's not like I miss hanging out with her...I did at first but now it doesn't faze me. I think the thing I miss is the fact that I know we lost the tight friendship. I don't know if that makes sense but it does in my head.
-On the brighter side of things new friendships have been formed. I feel like I am starting a new leaf going into senior year and I have got rid of all the crap that was holding me down or not really listening to my thoughts and feelings etc. The extra baggage has been lifted off my shoulders and it feels good. For example when you buy new clothes you can get rid of the old shit you really hate that made you feel and look bad...but when you get the new clothes on you feel really good and look good too partly because of the new clothes and partly because of how you now feel about yourself.
-So because of that I just want to say thanks Nicole for putting up with my attitude, me, and everything else. I believe that this is prob the best friendship I have ever have had and I have a feeling it's not going to end or sink away like some others! I love you hunny and I hope the years to come and some of the best ever!! You better keep me in line!!

2004-06-08T07:29:00.000-05:00

I have become friends with this kid (Raymone)in my math class. It was really unexpected because when you look at him he looks like he will beat you up if you even look at him. I think he also sells drugs so that is not the best either. He has been sitting behind me for I dunno how long. I was talking to this girl next to me awhile ago about the show, The OC and he started talking all excited about he loves that show and he can't wait to watch the next one to see what will happen. Ever since then we started talking more and we always asked each other if we were excited to see the show coming up and what we thought was going to happen. Then after we saw the show, we always talked about how we couldn't believe that happened or we figured this would happen....etc. Then we started talking about lots of other things and talking in general. Once you get to know him, he does smile at you a lot and is very nice. He is also in my science class and we talked there too. He even made me dedicate a page of my slide show I had to do to him. His face lit up when he say on the bottom.."Dedicated to Raymone Scott." Today is the last day in that class. We take the final then we are done. I must say I will miss Raymone over the summer and I hope I have a class with him next year. If I don't, I won't get to hear what he thought of The OC. The whole point of this was to say how appearances are deceiving. I'm glad I have become friends with him and I hope I talk to him next year too.

2004-05-31T17:15:00.000-05:00

Interesting day today, I had a few family over for my mom's birthday and memorial day. I felt really tired this morning so woke up late since I didn't sleep well that night. Around 2 something I started getting bitched at the most for something stupid. So I went up to my room and slept till about 3 something then I came downstairs ate and sat there in a trance occasionally making a comment when I felt like it. Then shit exploded when my mom decided to tell me that I was going to summer school to do math so I won't fail it my senior year. There is no way in hell I am taking summer school if I don't have to. She has no faith in me to do anything. She is convinced I won't graduate and not make it into any college because I am a no good loser who doesn't try at anything. (So she thinks) She doesn't spend a ton of money on me in general but of course since she wants to see me suffer and go through summer school then she will waste her money on that. So we bitched at each other in front of the family and my mom got mad that I was swearing in front of them. Wahoo like they haven't heard anyone swear before. I at least feel a little better now that I got the whole situation out of my system. I will be adding a couple song lyrics on here a little later that go along with my life at this point. Right now I have to be a maid and do some shit work. Later

2004-05-21T21:23:00.000-05:00

Yes, the peace is definitely now gone!

2004-05-21T20:33:00.000-05:00

It comes to points sometimes where I just don't feel like going out. I think I am too lazy. Tonight for example, I kind of do want to go out but yet what's the point. Maybe I am just sick of doing the same old things every weekend. I want to do something new for a change with someone new along with the old gang...aka Nicole. So right now I am sitting alone in my big, dark, quiet house, where the only noise is the sound of the computer running and my fingers rapidly typing away. Plus the occasional mysterious sound a house always makes. A sound you only notice when it is this quiet. It's come to my conclusion the phone isn't going to ring. Yes I was waiting for a call. The only call I have received is one ring then a hang up. I sat pondering for a couple minutes who it could have been, and why they had hung up. Then I lost the interest in that thought, and have been sitting here, just sitting dazing at the computer screen almost lost. No thoughts in my head...nothing. My fingers seem to know what to say without even thinking about it. In english this past few days we have been talking about how, until life is gone you never really know how good life is. Other words...most people aren't really living life, say to the full extent. Myself included. They take each day as simply another day not seeing the benefits and options that each day has to hold. Also not viewing the little things in life, taking most things for granted. I do this and almost everyone else in the world does too, who can actually say they live each day to the fullest. Not most people, if any. In my opinion I seem to enjoy life more when there is someone going through it with me. That always puts me in a better mood. Now I hear the garage opening letting me know that someone from my family is home. My silence is gone, the peace that was taking over me has vanished. I now feel even more restless and the need to have my quite, calm, relaxing house back. As in my sisters words earlier tonight, "I need a beer." That always calms me back down to the point I just sit and take everything in, sitting there like I am not even there, as if I am watching from somewhere else seeing what other people don't. Until someone yells, Hey what's up?" and sits down next to me. Then I go on talking and having fun, occasionally noticing someone else sitting there like they see things other people don't, and I am sure they do.

2004-05-18T20:19:00.000-05:00

Over this past year I have figured out that life is complicated, fun, tiring, exciting, painful, sad, amusing, and peaceful. Right now life is great for the most part.

2004-05-17T14:24:00.000-05:00

I didn't finish my blog from yesterday. I seemed a little Kevin crazy but that always happens right after I see him. Then it is over until I see him again next. About the whole Bryan thing, the whole reason that I want to go to dinner with Bry is because him and I used to be good friends and we used to talk about everything together. Then something changed and we didn't. When I saw him yesterday it was like we were really close again. I doubt he will call me. He isn't too reliable sometimes. Yet other times he is so we will see.
Hell has began again, my lil sis Lindsey has started begging for a dog again. My mom has told her from the first time that she asked that she was never getting a dog as long as she lived in this house. Lindsey starts whinning for a couple days then she gets excited because some little thing gets in her head that she will get one. Then when she realizes she never will she cries for days and tells everyone that she hates them. Right now we are in a mix of whinning and excitment. This should be fun...note the sarcasm.
It amazes me that my older sister shops during the day and haves fun but then she comes home feels like shit and you should just die if you even think of disturbing her. But then wow like magic she is better and is up and ready to go out and have a good time again. Sure she might be sick but this has happened one too many times. I'm being kicked off again I'll finish later. Kel

2004-05-16T20:34:00.000-05:00

Tonight was the senior dinner at our church for our youth group. It's kinda sad b/c most of my friends are seniors. They are all leaving me. Next year it will only be Andrea, Kevin, Eddie and I. There are other juniors but not really ones I talk to. Andrea I have known since I was 2 because we used to live across the street from each other. She doesn't always go tho b/c of volleyball and stuff. Actually during volleyball season she is almost never there. Kevin...well there is a lot to say about that. I will do Eddie first. Eddie is well Eddie this big guy who is sooo nice and funny. You always feel good near Eddie. He has a 4.0 at Padua which if you don't know is a catholic school so that would be in real life a 5.0 at public school like me. So every Sunday night he is usually doing homework so he almost never comes to the programs after mass. Then there is Kevin. Ohh good old Kevin. Kev is about 6.2 or 6.3 very built, funny, nice, basically looks like an Abercrombie model. He looks almost exactly like his older brother who is a manager at Hollister (for those who don't know Hollister is a store that is run by Abercrombie but geared more toward California clothing, not so preppy..well preppy surfer likes to be in the sun you could say...If you don't even know what Abercrombie is than I dunno what to tell you other than go find out.) Anyway, his brother is a manager at Hollister (the only store I shop at) and in order to work there you have to be hotter than hell. In Abercrombie near Christmas they actually have guys standing at the front of the store wearing only shorts or pants...it's very nice. Back to Kevin you get the point he's hot. I would even consider going out with him except for the fact that he is again 6'3 and I am 4'8 minus the 4" heals I always wear. But still I hate being this short.I did actually kiss him once but that's another story. Anyway Kevin goes almost all the time except to some things in the summer. So I will have him but I will still feel all alone if he doesn't come. I usually end up hanging out with Kev anyway at the programs and stuff but still. There is this really annoying fat girl (Nothing against fat people I am usually very nice but if you are annoying as hell then I will make fun of you. If you aren't then hi..how are you? You know what I mean.) who follows Kevin around the whole entire night and he always gives me these cute looks like help get her away do something. I feel bad but hey, what can you do about it. The point to the whole thing was that I am going to miss all of the seniors.
I saw Bryan today for the first time in a long time. The last time he came back he brought this girl back with him and he didn't even look at me. I was soo pissed. As soon as he saw me he ran up and gave me one of his hugs that are soo good. Bryan gives some of the best hugs ever. He smells so good like A&F Fierce. It's my fav. Anyway i yelled at him for being an ass he apologized and later promised we will have dinner some time this week hmm we will see what will happen.

2004-05-13T19:55:00.000-05:00

I quit my job tonight.....finally I am done with that shit!

2004-05-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

I don't eat sweets and junk food...so how come I just got finished stuffing my face full of them. Now I feel gross.
I got back from Nashville yesterday....I had a blast for the most part...didn't win anything but met a lot of new people who were really nice and fun to be around. Most of the ones I talked to were from Port Clinton. I never realized how stuck up and self-centered people from around here are. I mean sure some of the girls from different girls were stuck up and self-centered too, for example most off the ones from Port Clinton were. But even around here most of our guys are like that too....the guys there weren't though. You could just walk right up to them and start talking or they would just walk right up to you and start talking.
So, I was calling work a few seconds ago to say I couldn't come in because I am sick and I was asking for someone's number to call so they could work for me and all he said was, "You're fired," then hung up. What the hell! I don't call in often and call off and I always have someone to work for me when I can't come in. You know what I don't give a shit...I was planning on looking for another job anyway. Wait now my friend Lia called cause she called him and she said he said...he was joking. You aren't joking when you yell at someone that they are fired then hang up. That's bullshit I am pissed off now I will be back later. Bye

2004-04-24T08:50:00.000-05:00

The whole Dare thing did not work out as planned. We were at breakfast and they called us saying Kinsner was closed so we couldn't go. We took as much time as we needed eating about 2 hrs then had to go back to school, which basically sucked.

About the new TJ's Place link I added, I found this blog through the blogger homepage. I was just searching trying to find something good to read and stumbled upon this one. Yes it is about a guy and how he is a manager of a strip joint but it's about his life too. There is nothing gross in it...well maybe 1 or 2 things but it is really interesting from start to finish. He doesn't seem like some perv...he's just real. So if you like it or not I have a link about a man who is a manager of a strip club on my blog.

When Lia and I were going into work yesterday she slammed her thumb into her car door. She went to the emergency and got it wrapped and shit. I feel really bad cause she said it hurt like hell. But I stilll want to complain that now I have to work from 11-7 today to help her do prep. Actually I will be doing all the prep, which I hate that is the worst thing to do. Plus that is 8 hrs!!! 4 hrs is hell usually and I have to work 8!!! At least I get out at 7 now instead of 10 so i can do something with Nicole. Still that is f-ing gay. I have to go get ready for "hell" now. Later

2004-04-22T14:03:00.000-05:00

My parents decided to get me my own credit/debt card and my own checking account....this is sweet! I go to Kinsner tomorrow since I am a Dare Role Model...should be fun. So there is this kid who sits next to me in Science...Medium height, fat, shaved head...basically thinks he is ghetto. Yesterday I hear him playing with some plastic thing that he was holding in his hand. Then he took out a pill and pulled it apart poured the contents into his hand and starting snorting it! Who the hell does that when they are school????!!!! I was pretending not to notice but it is so obvious when sitting right there. You could hear him too, it was so loud! I had no clue what to do! Then some other kid got busted for drinking and having some other sort of drugs on a field trip. What the hell is up with my school! Well I am off to work (aka Hell) Later!

2004-04-12T15:22:00.000-05:00

I signed onto the Blogger main page and was looking at the titles of other people's blogs. Two that amused me the most were "Flinging Shit" and "The Wetass Chronicles". Then when I actually looked to see what they had to say, not anything interesting. The names still amuse me tho. Today I feel very accomplished and productive. Not in the nothingness mood I was in yesterday. I took most of my clothes and got rid of the ones I didn't like or haven't worn in awhile. Then I separated all the shirts in my closet and put winter shirts in one closet and summer shirts in the other. Then I cleaned out all the crap in the bottom of my closet and got rid of that stuff I didn't want. I already cleaned out some of my drawers in one dresser, I just have another dresser to do. I am feeling very artsy also. It all started when Nicole and I went over her grandma's to get our matching bracelets fitted that Nicole bought for us when she was in Cozumel. We decided that we are going to take long dangly earrings and put the extra shells on the bottom of them, so they will be a silver chain like thing that hangs down then the shell at the end. So today when I was cleaning out my closet, and found a container with some thread I used to make ankle bracelets back in the old days. So I when I got bored of cleaning my room half way through, I made two anklets. I was also thinking about making a skirt out of one of my pairs of jeans. But who knows...gotta go continue to be productive. More Later

2004-04-11T22:06:00.000-05:00

Was watching the VH1 Diva special tonight about Jessica Simpson and it kind of upset me a little and made me think about how most girls have everything...even if they aren't famous. Ok, well not everything but you get the point. Not that my life is so bad but it could get a whole hell of a lot better. Now I hate when I post it always seems like I am depressed, but when ever I have something in my head that I need to get out and would feel stupid talking to someone out loud about it, that's when I post. With the occasional random happy good posts. Neway, I feel like Bob no not the person, my fish....stuck in that bowl just floating around watching everyone else's lives pass with great success, while mine just stays there...not exactly frozen in time but in a period of nothingness. I feel the need to find Mr. Prince Charming. The period of nothingness will be over once I meet him. Until then I will wait. Nicole says not to rush into things and to be patient...i'm not a patient person and it's hard when the desire to be with Mr. Charming is so strong. I'm trying at least to be patient and feel in control with my life and that's all I guess I can do. I am sick of being what everyone thinks I am or expects me to be....and I know everyone has their different opinions...I just want to be me! Well I am off to bed, it's been a long day. I need a cigarette, and I don't even smoke!

2004-03-30T18:51:00.000-05:00

Went to visit the sis yesterday...not much to say about that. I'm trying to get my act together about a lot of things. I miss Nicole...she is on her cruise and I usually talk to her about everything going on and I can't! I'm going crazy with all these thoughts inside my head! Ugh...I can't wait till she gets home...but I hope she is having a good time...she deserves to. I'm trying to start over this summer/ senior year. I need to stop worrying about what other people think. I have to make my own decisions about things. Not be so indecisive. Have to go eat my chipotle....more later!

2004-03-24T20:17:00.000-05:00

I am really sick of people getting boyfriends/girlfriends and being obsessive about them. I don't want to talk to you and have to hear your f-ing boyfriend's name be every other word that comes out of your mouth! People like that wonder why they don't have any friends anymore. Another reason is because you spend all your time with them and don't include anyone else in your life. What ever happened to having a boyfriend and having friends at the same time? It seems like other people can do it...I have, I don't understand why it's so hard! I also hate when those people change for their boyfriends and some self-confidence goes away. Your in deep and it I sure as hell hope it's not you that is going to get your heart broken because I know you want me to be that shoulder to cry on and I am positive I sure as hell won't come running!

2004-03-21T12:05:00.000-05:00

Over the past week or so I have collected about 3 or 4 stalkers. I feel so privileged! Why me...sure, maybe if one was actually decent but of course not. Not with my luck! I was asking my friend Vince* what I should do about one and he said to say that I am too busy messing around with him to date anyone. (No I'm not messing around with him it was just Vince being the usual smartass he is.) He also said to say I was dating a guy named Barney Rubble. I didn't think that would work tho, well it might have but I wasn't going to let this kid think I am a whore and the whole Barney Rubble thing...yea who would believe that! Nice try Vince I appreciate the effort!
*Name changed for good reasons...

Had a really good weekend so far...went over Nicole's friday and hungout with some people. Even though I didn't get much sleep and felt sick in the morning! It was all worth it! Came home Sat around 12:30 - 1, did absolutely nothing till around 4 when I went to the mall with Lia. We met the rest of my fam for dinner then shopped around some more. After we were done it was only around 6 or so and there was nothing to do. I was a little tired so I just went home. When I got home I called Nicole back cause she called me so I then decided to go see Dawn of the Dead with her and Frank. It was really good..scared the shit out of me at some points but it was good! After, Nicole wanted me to go out with her, Frank and some people but I decided not to and went home to sleep since I didn't get any rest the night before! I think I made the right choice cause now I feel good not as tired as I would have been.

Do you think I am quiet...when I was sitting in the car when Nicole ran in the house Frank mentioned I am quiet, I asked Nicole if she thought I was when she came back. She thinks I am too. I mean yea sure I do get quiet sometimes but I never thought I was that quite. So just send me a shout about your opinion whether I am or not! That's all for now cause I have to get ready to leave which usually takes me an hour or a little less...I only have 10 minutes!!! See ya!

2004-03-18T16:55:00.000-05:00

There are many issues in my life....most of them give me headaches. More later!

2004-03-10T19:28:00.000-05:00

I have no friends....and nothing to blog about! How exciting....this is the story of my life! There was once times when I had deep meaningful thoughts. Those times are gone. My brain doesn't seem to work anymore. For example a bag of popcorn in the microwave with each little pop is a new idea until the whole bag is full...(your head full of good ideas) well mine is a bag full of burnt popcorn that I had some good ideas but it was all used over time now I am paying for it with a bag full of shit!

2004-03-06T09:58:00.000-05:00

Yea, I am home.....what fun I had! The day after surgery they gave me a ton of food, which I didn't want to eat but they made me. Then later that day got really sick because some idiot nurse made a mistake and I wasn't supposed to have it. That set me back a day or two but oh well I am home now. It was quite amusing at times. (Not a lot tho) For example when I asked my mom to get a piece of tape off my IV line, not only did she tear the tape off she pulled the whole IV out of my hand. Then proceeded to sit there laughing hysterically like she was drunk. Then I called my grams to tell her I was leaving and all she asked was, "Are you drinking?" Now I know she meant like water and stuff but the way she said it in this high pitched eager voice (like she was drinking herself) made me laugh. I told her, "No they don't have any alcohol here." Grams laughed and said something along the lines of, "I know hehe, you can have some of mine when I see you." Don't get me wrong, Grams was not drinking she's not some alcoholic but yes when she does go over someone's house for a party or something she does have some drinks. The big joke all got started because she came back from visiting my relatives in Texas and told us that she had the best jello and all you had to do was suck it up. So, now we joke about it whenever we get the chance. My aunt used to have a picture on her refrigerator of grams holding a beer and looking drunk. She was excited because some guy where they were at bought it for her. Tonight people are coming over to celebrate Grams and Lindsey's b-day (which both happen to be belated but oh well) so we will see how much Grams drinks tonight.

-Really weird dream last night.....

Off to go get some stuff done then to convince my sister to go shopping with me before everyone comes over tonight!

2004-03-01T10:08:00.000-05:00

So, today is the day I go back! I am kind of excited to get this done with, but yet am nervous also. I just want it to be done and over with. I am supposed to be there at 1, but the prob won't take me till around 6. I hate that cause you have to sit there waiting forever. Plus I can't eat anything at all today and the only thing I ate yesterday was chicken broth. I am soo hungry. I will be sitting there dying of starvation and who knows when or what they will give me after. Prob nothing till the next day since it is going to be so late at night. I swear to god if I don't have a good roommate I am going to bitch. I have put up with enough roommate crap that this one better be good. Ugh...I just want this to be done with now! I'm already starting to get nervous. I am supposed to be in there 3-5 days. Then I am back to my regular schedule of life. After I get out I am partying and celebrating. It's going to be great. Then on March 12-13 I get to go down to states for Deca. Nicole and I are sharing a room together. It's going to be awesome! I bought so many cute "business attire" to wear, since we have to. Plus, the cutest shoes. Not many people we know are going, besides Chris Cook. O, yea Joe Carson is going too. I used to not like Chris in the past I dunno y, but since he is in my class this year we started talking and he's cool. Nicole knows him because he drives her to school everyday because he has a parking pass. So it looks like it's going to be the three of us, plus Joe when he is not hanging out with other people. I mean there are other people but we aren't really close with them. I have known Nicole since 7th grade and was friends with her then but we were never really close till this year. She invited me to go to a cruise with her over spring break but I didn't know when I would have to be back in the hospital again when she asked so I just told her I couldn't go. I was also supposed to do a kickboxing/palates (i dunno if that is how u spell it) class but it starts tonight and well..I'm not going to be home for the next couple of days so we will see if I can just start up where they left off when I get back. I am just really excited that she is there to go with. Anyway I have to stop rambiling on now. I have to go pack and clean up a little and check to see if my dad will bring me that laptop...Thanks for reminding me Ed! Wish me luck! Kel

2004-02-26T19:59:00.000-05:00

So my dad tried for hours to talk to me about marketing. I have been in this class for a year now and he just now realized what I was doing and got excited and tried to teach me stuff. I feel kinda bad b/c I was only half-ass listening and showing that I didn't really care about it, when sure some of the stuff interesting but the other stuff I already knew. I think I hurt his feelings because we never have real conversations, we just end up yelling at each other or arguing about some shit and the time that he tries to actually have a good convo I shut him down. I don't mean to but it always ends up like that. I think maybe I am going to go try to talk to him again after I call Sean, if I decide to call him, who knows what is up with that! Later! By the way I only got to see pieces of the Opera after the show...show. You should def. look it up tho it was really good!

2004-02-26T17:39:00.000-05:00

So I was going to post about how some bitch yelled at my sister on her blog, but then i sent a shout and bitched at this girl and now i feel better. If you want it just read my sister's blog. I also talked to my sis after that and prevised her own blog about the subject. Just read my sisters blog and u will see. Lepetit. If you watched Opera today it was soo good, now I never watch that show but today I felt that need to turn it on. It was about two teenagers and how the girl was saying the guy raped her but the guy said he didn't. The court saud he is innocent but he is still serving 10 years in jail. This episode was so moving because they had both cases and I am waiting to post more about this and present all the facts until after i look more into it and watch "Opera After The Show" at 7 on Oxygen. Now I am going to go eat and then celebrate my little sis's b-day! Bye for now!

2004-02-26T15:27:00.000-05:00

2.26.2004
To Whom It May Concern:

I distinctly remember in elementary school saying, "It takes one to know one."

Initially shocked at being called a cold-hearted bitch, that familiar elementary chant came to mind. While I feel that Lauren herself was quite cruel in her choice of words, I am profoundly saddened that a stranger, a friend, an enemy, another person, could find me so heartless.

From the bottom of my (cold) heart, I am sorry of the wrongdoing I committed. I now understand what it feels like when someone is cruel, and I do not wish that feeling upon anyone.

Sincerely,
Le Petit

First off no one calls my sister a cold hearted bitch, but me!!!!! Well here's what I wrote on my sister's shoutbox....which she might get mad about but that girl deserves it.

Kel - 06-24 AM:
First off who is this bitch named Lauren and if you don't really know her that well she shouldn't know you that well and has no right to say that you are a cold hearted bitch, in my book someone who posts that about u on ur own blog is the fucking bitch. Oooo am I a bitch now for calling this Lauren girl one?! Well guess what, kiss my ass...I don't care, cause no one calls my MBA a bitch! (except me) So, Lauren whoever the hell you are shut the fuck up and I am saying it because MBA doesn't have enough balls to say it herself! Love you MBA! Don't try deleting this MBA b/c someone needs to stick up for you and it sure as hell isn't going to be you!

So sure I was mean but that girl needs to shut the fuck up! Grr..it makes me mad. MaryBeth you need to learn how to stick up for yourself! I am not going to be around forever to fight your battles!! Hehe! :) Guys...send me a shout to say if I was out of line or not!

2004-02-19T18:13:00.000-05:00

My neighbor Tyler and I haven't really talked that much recently. We both had summer school way back in the warm summer and he always drove me so we talked then and usually made our stops at BK after to get our Hershey Pies that we are both obsessed with. I have my Deca (Marketing) class with him this year. He sits toward the middle and I sit sort of in the front so we don't really talk then. Altho when we have nothing to do I usually go in the back to talk to Nicole. Sometimes I talk to him when I am back there. I have know Ty since I was in first grade and back when our whole street was friends we hung out a lot. This other guy John called us "The Locals" b/c we always hung out together. There was prob 8 of us. That included (starting from the right side of the street going down and around to the left in order of which we live) Steven, Me, Tyler, Louisa (now across the street) April, Ann, and Jaye. John who also was included lived a couple streets down. None of us really talk that much anymore. Sure I still hang out with Jaye and I talk to April in school but that's it. Lousia was my bestfriend since maybe 1st grade but around the time when I was getting interested in guys she kept on liking her animals so that kind of ended. Tyler told me in the summer that it would be cool to have a graduation party together since we are all graduating the same year. Except Ann is graduating this year. I sort of just laughed in his face becuause most of us don't even hang out together yet alone, with the same friends. Now I was just talking to Ty a few minutes ago online and we got on the subject again of how we all never hang out together anymore. It's kind of sad since we all used to be such good friends. It just makes you think about how much we have all changed and sometimes wish you were that little kid again playing in the front yard with all your little buddies, and how you were mad when your mom called you in around dark even tho everyone else had to go home too. This week I have been talking to Ty more in Deca and it feels comforting again. Like old times! This spring Jaye, Ty, Louisa and I are all Dare Role Models at Kinsner. (Our old elementary school.) I hope that we can bond a little through that...like I said before...Like Old Times. We always used to talk about the Dare Role Models and how we wanted to be them...now we are it seems weird sort of. We started almost our whole school career together and next year it will basically be ending besides college. I just wish we could end together as well. I love you guys!!!

2004-02-17T15:56:00.000-05:00

Good times Sunday night.....that's all I gotta say about that..for now!

2004-02-14T21:37:00.000-05:00

I started blogging about how much my Valentines Day sucked but then I figured what's the point. All you need to know is it sucked. I slept, then worked and that's it. Now I sort of want to do something but I am too tired to do anything, but yet not tired enough to go to bed. Anyway at work there are two drivers who are gorgeous..actually most of them are gorgeous except the really old ones. These two, I dunno there is something about them. I talk to the one more then the other b/c I have known him longer. The other just started a little bit ago. Nothing is going to happen prob but still.Then there is this guy I have a period at school with. (notice I didn't say class) . Who knows what's going on with that. There is a girl at work named Amanda who hates me. It's not my fault she hates me. Just b/c I yell at her when we are really busy and she's standing doing nothing doesn't mean she has to hate me. To tell the truth I really don't care because she's weird anyhow. I tried giving her a chance ..all I gotta say is her chance is up! I tried being nice but it's not worth it, it's a waste of my time.

"I think we'll probably all agree that our particular shooter is becoming much more aggressive -- much bolder -- in letting himself be seen by the public," Martin said. "His intent is to hurt somebody." www.cnn.com/2004/US/Midwest/02/14/ohio.shootings/index.html This is about another sniper shooting. It's sort of getting scary because on March 12 I am traveling down there for Deca competition...what better way for the sniper to get attention then shooting a bus load of kids!! Oh good! I hope they catch them soon, or else the whole way there and back I will be a nervous wreck. I don't understand how someone could do something like that. Something has to be wrong with their brain or something. On that note I am done. Kel

2004-02-11T20:17:00.000-05:00

The following article is a post from my sisters blog....
~For Christmas my parents ordered me a subscription to Marie Claire, but they had them sent to the house. I recieved my first package with a few magazines (Newsweek, Reader's Digest, and my MC,) yesterday. Procrastinating, I read the MC today, and towards the end, happened upon the last page of a "sex" article. Looking in the crease of the magazine, I noticed a very poor tear job. Yes, you are thinking correctly. Someone, (my mother?!?!) tore out the first two pages of the sex article. I mean honestly, if you want to shelter me, atleast make sure you tear out ALL of the pages. Laughing, I walked across the hall to show Heather... she's now wondering if my mom thinks I don't know what sex is. Hmm.~
......I actually read the magazine before my mom sent it to my sister. I tore out an article about something I wanted to keep, which happened to have the sex article on the other side. Opps hope she didn't want to read those articles if so I still have them here somewhere buried under a pile of clean clothes on the floor of my room! MBA let me know if you want them I will dig them up for you...p.s.-the sex articles weren't that interesting! Luv Ya Kel

2004-02-11T19:56:00.000-05:00

I hate this Valentines crap. If you really love someone you should celebrate it everyday not just one "special" day out of the year. So then maybe all of us who don't have a Valentine or special someone won't feel like shit. I especially hate it b/c all that is on tv is love movies/episodes. Can't anyone ever make a show about how much it sucks. Denise and I were talking the other day about how much this holiday suckes balls. Big hairy ones to be exact. She decided we are going to grab something to eat together on Saturday so we are both big losers! Hehe Actually I have a couple Valentines...Denise, Rob, Mike L, and someother people. None of them are actually a "Valentine" tho. I mean I still love them all just not like that. Truthfully I am a sap for romantic stuff but it never happens to me. Someone needs to do something about that and quick! Grr...it's not fun to be single around Valentines and I always am. Bah Humbug! That's all I have to say about that for now!

2004-02-08T15:45:00.000-05:00

I tried changing the colors of my blog so it wouldn't look so much like a Valentine but it just wasn't the same. So, if you don't like these colors too bad.

2004-02-08T09:39:00.000-05:00

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which had opened for us" I found this quote in my Documents, I'm not sure where I got it but I like it and thought I would share it.

2004-02-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

Life just seems so complicated some days even if it's only about the simplest things...for example y someone won't even hold your hand at least. Sometimes I feel like that penguin http://home.kabelfoon.nl/~hopha/penguin.swf in that game. I'm perfectly content sitting up there on my rock, until I decided to get down and when I do someone nails me with something very unexpectedly. Sometimes it's good, then I am very happy and flying high until I fall down again. Sometimes it's bad where it just hits me but I fall flat down without the happiness before. Ugh...I don't get why I make a big deal out of such little things..they seem to look bigger and mean more than they really do. Today was one of those days...and right now I am just confused about a lot of things. But I also wanted to say I got 2nd place in my competition for my Marketing Class. (Deca) I am sooo excited now I get to go to States! Going to bed now to lie awake all night pondering my thoughts! 'Night!

2004-02-07T21:00:00.000-05:00

Today was very interesting....

2004-02-03T19:18:00.000-05:00

I have come to a conclusion that my blog looks like a fucking Valentine. I hate Valentines Day. It's pointless if your not with anyone and it seems like every Valentines Day I'm not. Sure maybe some day I will appreciate it but it's not going to be this year. I love how you are friends with someone but they only talk to you sometimes, the rest of the time if they see you online they just ignore you, and they haven't called in I dunno how long.When you do talk to them everyother word is LOL. I am so sick of that word. People use it now when they don't know what to say, and it drives me insane. Today in school we got all our information about the classes to take next semester for our senior year. It just seems like freshman year two days ago now I am planning for senior year then college. I can't wait to go to college but it's going to be hell filling out the applications and actually finding a college that I can go to. One of my biggest fears is that I will find the college I like but then I won't make any friends there. Yea I know it's not prob going to happen like that but still. I want to leave most of my past behind and start new. Hmm I am not really sure what is going to happen but I just want to make senior year the best it could be....if it's possible I say I want a lot of shit but it never happens. Well now that my fucking little sister got a screenname I have to do everything on her terms since she's the fat princess...looks like I will be getting off now. Bye

2004-01-31T22:11:00.000-05:00

So I was sitting in the car with my grandma in the parking lot of K-mart in Garfield where she lives while my mom and dad went in to grab some stuff. Then a mini van pulls up next to us and there were 2 teenage guys in it. So they sat there for a minute then the one pulled out a bowl and they started smoking it. It was just a little weird sitting next to my grandma while that was happening. Oh well. Hallie and Pete called tonight, Pete might get a cook position at Tommys. That should be cool, he's really nice. They talked about setting me up with his friend Kevin. I doubt it's going to happen tho. We will see. Later Kel

2004-01-31T12:30:00.000-05:00

I was thinking this morning about life and stuff that goes along with it. I was thinking about the future when I'm married. I never dream about how my wedding day is going to be like, I don't picture myself with numerous different guys like people say girls do when they are young. The only thing I ever thought about is the certain flowers I absolutely love. That's it tho, oh and I want a strapless dress. That's it. But I was also thinking about everything else that comes along with being older. It just sometimes seems so far away like I am never going to make it there. Or almost like I am almost able to catch them but they slip through my hands. Sure one day I will prob get to do all the things I know dream about, there is still apart of me that makes me believe I'm not. Like it's all out of my reach. I have already been through so much shit that I just want to know when it's going to end and when things will start looking much better for me. Now don't get me wrong, this point of my life is not one of my rough points. It's not exactly the best of times either. Is it wrong to think you should be owed something in life?! Prob but oh well. I guess I need to focus more on the possitive things, I guess I feel I need more positive things...Now I am sounding kind of depressed, believe me I'm not. I was just contimplating the future then my sister pissed me off like usual and I turned into a sour mood. I'll post later when I'm feeling better. BYE

2004-01-29T15:16:00.000-05:00

I have a thing about smells. I love different ones not just fragrances...but the smells of everyday life. Last year I was giving my friend Aaron a hug and he smelled so good! He said he wasn't wearing any cologne and I found out later that it was his fabric softner. Whatever kind it was smelled soo good. Whenever I used to hug him he always used to push my head against his shirt so I could smell it..since he knew I loved the way he smelled. Then he did this weird thing with his abs which tickled. But anyway the point of this was smells not Aaron. Even tho I am sure he enjoys it. I love the smell of coffee just after it's made. Cari has the best smelling coffee after she puts her Irish Cream in it too. I smell all my food and things. I forgot where I was and who I was with but they were making fun of me for smelling everything. I even like the smell of the gas station, the gas and how you walk into the actual store and it smells like a mixture of bread, newspapers and some other stuff. I go to my Grandmas almost every Sunday. We are very italian and every Sunday she makes pasta. I love walking into the door and the smell of the sauce and meat greeting you as you come in. Mmm...it's soo good now I'm hungrey. After we are done eating you still can smell the pasta/sauce smell, but then my aunts start to wash dishes so it smells like pasta but there is a mixture of the water in there with it. Now usually the smell of the water you washed the dishes in, is gross. But if you just not actually get up to the sink where it's so strong, if you stay near the table or the family room, it smells really good. It smells kind of gross the whole dirty water and pasta mixture but it's a scent that I have been smelling ever since I was born. Anyway, what made me think of that which is kind of the whole point to the scent blog is that my mom had to help somewhere today and when I walked in the place it smelled exactly like that. Well I know you prob think I am really weird right now but I had to blog about that...the smell of mac & cheese is hitting my nose right now. Later

2004-01-28T17:16:00.000-05:00

My friend Brit sent me one of those things that you fill out about yourself and then send back to all your friends. Usually I don't do it but I figured what the hell I will anyway but I am just going to post it on here for anyone to see. I hate sending it to all my friends. So here goes....
1.First Name: Kelly
2.Middle Name: Ann
3.Last Name: You should know
4.Nicknames: DSH, Whore, Ho, Belly, Kel-Bel,Lil One, Shorty, etc.
5.City: Strongsville
6.Age: 17
7.Guy or Girl: Girl
8.Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius
9.Siblings:MaryBeth 20 & Lindsey 11
11.Pet(s): A fish named BoB or Fish
12.Hair Color: Brown
13.Eye Color: Brown
14.Height: 4' 9"
15.What hand do you write with: Right
16.Hair Length: shoulder length
17. Do you bite your nails?: no
19. Do others think your cute?: I dunno ask them
20. Shoe Size: 6

FASHION STUFF:

26. Where do you shop the most?: Hollister obviously
27.Do you think your fashion is cool?: sure, y not since I am always dressing my older sis when she is home since she's unable to dress herself
28. Do you have any piercing?: yea 2 different ones and I wan get my belly button pierced!
30. Do you have a tattoo?: no but I want one in the future

THE EXTRA STUFF:

31. Do you do drugs?: no
32. Do you drink?: not often
35. What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?: the kind in my shower
36. What sport(s) do you do? Does walking the mall count?! Haha
37. What are you most scared of?: maybe death
38. If you could go anywhere, where would it be?: any place warm
39. Favorite Sports team: the one that wins the game I am watching
40. What are you listening to right now?: The TV
42. What time is it?: 5:28
43. Do you have your own phone line?: nope
44. What's the last four digits of your phone number?: y would you want that?
46. What shoes do you wear?: ones that are cute as tall as possible ha!
47. What clothes do you sleep in? my A&F bikinis usually that's it!
48. What kind of car do you have?: None at the moment I'm getting one this summer tho.
49. Who is the last person who called you?:Lia
50. Where do you want to get married?:Not sure, I'll worry about then when the time comes.
51. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?:I would be taller
52. Who do you really hate?: Hmm there's too many!
55. What are the ugliest names?: Not sure but if I have a boy I'm going to name him Shane I like that one. Like Shane West but it has nothing to do with him, even tho he's not bad!

FAVORITES:

56. Color:As I told Lia just yesterday I don't really have one....maybe maroon.
57. Number: hmm...3, 7, 22
58. Movies: Cruel Intentions and a lot more.
61. Brand: of what?
62. show: The O.C. and One Tree Hill
63. Food: Italian but I will eat anything!
64.Fast food restaurant?: Does Chipotle and Panera count as fast food?
65. nail polish color: maroon or pink or french manicure
74. Scent: Amber Romance from Victoria Secret cause that's the best right Sean! That one for girls and A&F Fierce for Guys.
75. Bath or Shower?: Shower
76. Teacher: Mrs.Jansen...she's not really a teacher but I aide for her at the greeters desk and she's my fav!
77.Game: I don't play games

EXTRA STuff
81.smoked: no
82. Drank: yep
83. Got drunk?: a lil
84. Bungee Jumped?: No..I would be scared
85. Went movie hopping?: yes, but only to talk to some guys and we went back to the original movie later.
86. Broke the law?:maybe
87. Ran from the cops?: no
91. Tried to kill yourself?: no
92. Made yourself throw up?:no
94. Been In Love?: hmmm
95. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: yea but it usually doesn't work

WHAT WORDS DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR THESE :

96. Red:
97. Cow:
98. Pig:
99. Rubber:
.....I don't like those I think of a lot of different things...or somethings nothing at all.

WHICH IS BETTER:

103. Barfing on your date or date barfing on you? def date barfing on u b/c he will be embarrassed not you..yea so for a little bit you will smell...go take a shower.
104. Having your Tonsils or your appendix remove? not sure but as long as they give me the pain pump and put me to sleep it will be good.

Friends*
105. Coolest: Scott...no one besides Lia is prob going to get this but it's ok!
106. Weirdest:Why would I be friends with someone weird?!
108. Smartest: My friends are smart? LoL J/K
109. Happiest:Lia, except when she gets annoyed with me! :) Katie is always happy and looking on the bright side, and Brit is full of energy I wished I had.
110. Meanest: Geoff or Dan but it was mostly to make fun of stuff that Lia or I deserved. (We didn't deserve it all the time tho) Love you guys!
111. Sweetest:Mike S....but he's been away for awhile...Mike I miss you! Come home soon! Laura, you are my cousin and one of my best friends!
112. Loudest: maybe Keopf but not in a bad way...I love her to death! Mike W your pretty loud also but I love it!
114. Funniest: Lia we have way too many good times! Laura ...I love you, we are the founders of the Ho & Ho Corp! Heather..glad we don't hate eachother..how are those footballs?! Sean thanks for putting up with all my shit and complaining and for making me laugh...even if you are laughing at me!
115. Do you go to for advice: Lia, Jaye, Nicole, Alex, ( If I need a guy's advice-usually it doesn't help that much! J/k) Denise, my sis MaryBeth
118. Who knows ALL your secrets?:Lia prob.

WHEN YOU HEAR THIS NAME, YOU THINK OF...
CHOOSE ONE....
129. Night or Day: Day...most everything happens during this time
130. Chocolate Chip or Mint Chocolate Chip: Mint Chocolate Chip!
131. Ocean or lake: Obviously the Ocean
132. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
133. Lion or Tiger:???
134. Love or lust: Love
135. Silver or gold: Does White Gold count?
136. Pencil or pen: pen
137. Skirt or jeans: jeans
138. Rose or tulip: Rose

IN THE PAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
139. Cried - no
140. Bought Something: does food count?
141. Worn a skirt: nope...it's kinda cold and we have had snow days so what's the point!
142. Gone for a walk: yeah right not in this weather
143. Gone for a drive: do you have to be the one driving?
144. Gone out for dinner: Does lunch count? Donatos..good pizza i'm a trader!
145: Taken a test: Nope
146. Talked to an ex: Yes
147. Missed an ex: Not really
148. Watched your favorite movie: No
149. Given someone a present: Nope
150. Missed someone: All the time
151. Hugged someone: Nope
152. Kissed someone: Nope
153. Danced with someone: Yes, while I was watching Ellen dance on her show!
154. Had a nightmare: Nope
156. What do you feel about the Ouija board?: not a big fan
157. Do u believe in yourself?: it depends on what
158. Worst feeling in the world: when some one is lonely..I always feel bad for those people who are sitting by themselves at a restaurant or someplace.
159. Best feeling in the world: being with the person you care the most about at that time.
160. World peace: prob won't happen but it's a nice thought
161.Are you a health freak: haha i don't know what that word means!
162. Do you have a crush on anyone:Not really a crush but I can name people who I find sexy! lol ;) Enrique for example...Katie knows who I am talking about!
163. Who is your crush?: if I had one I wouldn't say so everyone could read it!

So...that's it...I was bored and I had some time even tho I was supposed to be studying but oh well! Tell me what you think..and yeah you can make fun of me for filling it out! Kel

2004-01-27T17:33:00.000-05:00

Snow Day today! I went over Lia's and we hung out then came home and am supposed to be working on some homework but I don't really feel like it. I'm not in the mood. I was getting out of my car when I got to Lia's and her driveway is on a little hill so it slants down, so as soon as I stepped out of the car I started sliding down hill. I couldn't stop. I grabbed on to the side of the car but it didn't help. I finally grabbed on to the black part where the windows are and dug my fingers into that space between the black rubber stuff and the glass. I then got to where there was no more car left and figured I would walk in the snow on the grass...big mistake that was as hard as rock. So I slid back to the car and started pounding my feet on the ice to make it break in the places I stepped. That finally worked. My day was very humorous. So we were sitting at Lia's talking about me going back to work on friday. Then we got the bright idea to tell Rick (our boss) that my parents were going out of town and I was staying over Lia's house so we had to work the same hours this weekend so Lia could drive me to work. Even tho we just wanted to work together and my parents weren't going out of town. Yea, so I called and he said it was fine for friday but sat he wanted me to work the night...let's just say we should have planned better. It was so confusing and it did not sound believable at all. Plus there is no way in hell that I am working sat night because that's when our Tommys reunion is. I am not sure what's going to happen now. Lia is at work now and she is supposed to let me know what's going on later.
So yesterday I tried taping Average Joe it was one I really wanted to see, the first episode after the "hot" guys showed up. I taped a little of the end of the show that was before it because I couldn't start the tape later. So this morning while I was watching it, I realized it taped the end of show before mine then it went right to the news! The news is supposed to be on after Average Joe. It missed a half an hour from exactly start to finish! WTF! My tv is not that complicated to tape stuff either all u have to do is push record then stop. I thought maybe they cancelled my show and just went right to the news. I called my dad at work to see if he saw it last night...yep definitely did watch it. That really pisses me off...what the hell happened?!
Also last night I caught Lindsey going on my screenname for the 6th time in the past 2 days. After I caught her the first time I told her to stop. Then I did the time after that and so on. Last night when I caught her I was so pissed. She is only 11 and she thinks she is 20. She thinks she is the shit and she has no respect for anyone. She can't even remember to close her mouth when she eats, which she does nonstop I'm not even exaggerating her body is not exactly what you call skinny so that doesn't help. One day she is going to regret all this shit she does and i'm not going to be sorry when someone does something about it, or she gets even bigger then she is. My mom gets annoyed when I eat too much....she doesn't even do anything about Lindsey's eating. My mom told me not to worry about it she's growing. I responded with.."yea, out not up." My mom didn't find that too funny but she didn't say anything about it.
Sure my mom can be a bitch most of the time but I still love her, and she's still my mom. She is quite humorous at times too. Like when she jokes around and tells Lindsey to go play in the street, or she told me to go wait in the street for Lia. I found it funny and you know she doesn't really mean it. Then the other day I was talking to Lia about this girl who had her tongue pierced. My mom (Bev-that's her name i'm just going to call her that cause i'm sick of writing my mom) knows her too. When I asked her if she knew this girl had her tongue pierced she said she would careless if she had her ass pierced. It's just the little things she says that makes it funny. Yet again tho..she's a bitch. Well I should prob go study now since I have to go to school tomorrow. More later.

2004-01-24T22:53:00.000-05:00

This weekend wasn't as great as I expected it to be. I hope the pancake breakfast tommorow will be better. When ever I think about something and dream about how great it's going to be when it happens, it always turns out bad, or not that good. I think I might give up on dreaming. It just seems pointless because it never turns out the way I hope.

School yesterday wasn't that bad, I only went for 2 periods tho. I think Monday I am going for more then we will see what happens. Cari is in my first period class and we actually take notes this class so maybe I will learn something. The teacher seems nice too. Everything else is the same...it felt good being back. Well except for the waking up at 5 something. That was bad. A ton of people came up and said hi to me...even some I didn't expect. I suddenly remembered how much I missed all the guys once I saw them again.

Speaking of guys, I had the sudden urge to IM HolyName Mike last night. I thought it was a good idea last night but now it's kind of like what was I thinking. That's old news, the last time I went out with him, I was asking myself why..it was just pointless. I used to think he was really hot and good looking but the last time I saw him he was just I dunno...Mike. Last night we ended up mostly talking about his rep at school...he now goes to Berea instead of HolyName. He will still be known as HolyName Mike tho since I know so many Mikes. We also talked about girls he liked and how some don't like him, etc. He asked me how come no girls like him....something along those lines. Alex asked me that too. (well he asks me that a lot actually) What are you supposed to say to that..how am I even supposed to know?! I usually end up saying something like I am sure some girls like you. What else is there to say. Why do I always have to talk about girls with guys. I mean sure these guys are just friends but it's still annoying as hell. Some guys I don't mind..like Sean for example. I find it kind of interesting maybe we are just more close then some of the others. Yes, we did make up by the way. Incase you were wondering. I gave him the address to read my past blog and we talked after that. We were supposed to hangout this weekend but the roads were bad so he couldn't come out here. It's cool though I had fun with Lia and her friend Candice (maybe?) No I don't want Ian's rap song on my cd! haha Lia! Well I am out! Later

2004-01-22T20:28:00.000-05:00

I am allowed to go to school tomorrow. Only for a couple of periods though. 1st-3rd. Then next week I will prob. be able to go back full time. If not the begginging of the week then definitely the end. I am excited but yet kind of nervous at the same time. I don't want everyone being like o that's the sick girl. I don't want people to be weird around me, I hate that. I hate when people are really sympathetic too. I mean sure around parents and some times other adults I am all about that, but around people my own age I just wanna scream at them sometimes and say that I am not some fucking china doll. Or I am not going to get them sick or anything. I want people to look at me and not be able to realize that I have been sick. I dunno if you can tell or not...do I look worse or better? I don't think I look the same.
So I dunno I think I was a bitch in my post about Sean. Yet then other people say he deserved it. I'm not sure I think I was. I mean I can't blame him for backing off if he did. He said he tried calling me on Friday but I was already gone. I don't remember going anywhere on Friday but I could have. I had one away message up that was kind of bitchy too. That's when he said he tried calling but I wasn't home and the rest of the weekend he was out of town. I dunno what to do with this. I IMed him today asking if he was mad at me for being a bitch when I talked to him the other day. All he said was, "Naw." So I said, "OK, just checkin." and that was it. W haven't talked since. Which is kind of bothering me. He was a good friend and I prob ruined it because I was being my bitchy self like always. Now he doesn't even talk to me and I hate always being the one to start up conversation with someone after we have had an argument or tension between us. If he doesn't want to talk to me then fine, oh well. But if there is nothing wrong then I don't get it. Sure there is a possible girl in his life now....so what, I have guys in my life too. Especially now that I have a life again! Haha So we will find out what happens with that I guess later.
So speaking of having a life...it is official tomorrow after Lia gets out of work at 8 we are having out Tommy's Reunion! I called Geoff tonight and he said to call him when we were about ready and Lia called Dan but I dunno what happened with that. It might just be Lia, Geoff, and I but who cares lol with Geoff anything is fun. A couple times at work we just stood inside the walk in and kept on blowing out air to see who could do it the longest. We also had the best time cupping ranch...and we always split stuff...ah good times! Oh well I will find someone else at work to have good times with now. I can't with Lia since we hate eachother. Haha Our plan is to make our boss think we hate eachother so maybe he will let us work together. I don't think it's going to work since he knows we hang out together all the time. Lia...you need to make friends with Carl..and I have to get to know the new driver! Incase I need a ride home sometime! Haha Bye for now! Wish me luck for tomorrow!

2004-01-21T17:08:00.000-05:00

So, my mother feels the need to wake me up at 6:30 every morning even though I don't have to go to school yet. She says that we need to get my body adjusted to waking up early so when I do go back I can get up that early. So I guess yea it does make sense but wtf!!! Can't she get me up at 9 or something. I mean 6:30 is the ass crack of dawn. The sun isn't even out yet. It just kind of puts me in a bad mood after that. Then it takes me a couple hours to get out of the bad mood, if she isn't nagging me about something else.
I go to the mall almost everyday now and I never thought I would say this but I am kind of getting sick of it...maybe because I don't have any money anymore. I hate shopping when you don't have any money to buy anything with. So I never thought I would admit it but I can't wait to go back to school and to work. I mean I go out and do stuff now but I miss seeing everyone at both places and I miss the paychecks that came every other week. Yes...you did read right Lia..I want to come back to work! You better copy that to show me later because I know once I start working I will have a different opinion.
I had a really good conversation with MaryBeth today...well recently we have been having really good conversations, not just today. We actually talk about stuff with meaning other then useless crap to make conversation. I like knowing about what's going on there and telling her about stuff here. Today we talked about guys, (that's the topic a lot tho it seems) specifically today how most of them thing we are so stupid and think they are going to get their "goodies" as she called them even if you aren't going out with them. Haha this just made me laugh. Guess you would have to know me and my sis well. We talked about college the other day and about where I would go. I can't believe I will be a senior next year! It seems like just yesterday I was a freshman drooling over Paul and some of the other hot Abercrombie models in our school. I wasn't very active in school over the past couple of years...especially not this year since I haven't been there, but I am planning to make senior year the best and I hope it goes as well as I anticipate.
To end for now...when you do spell check MaryBeth comes up to change to morbid! Haha that's perfect!

2004-01-19T20:29:00.000-05:00

Today Lia and I hung out. Whenever we hang out we always end up talking about the good times we used to have with Scott, Geoff, Dan, Mike etc at work. Yes it just so happens they are all guys but can we help it if we're the only "cool" girls there. haha We never see any of them anymore (once I start school again I will see Geoff a little) but we still talk to Dan a little sending text messages back and forth, and on the phone. Mike, we will prob never see anymore. Same with Scott. (Which we are both upset about.....you had to see him, well and know him.) Anyway Lia and I figured we needed to have a little Tommy's reunion. Lia, Geoff, Dan and I. So we called both of them today. We only got ahold of Geoff (who we haven't talked to in a while) he was sooo happy and excited and said right away that we have to do it this weekend. So all week long I will be looking forward to hanging out with them this weekend. I am sooo excited I wish it would come faster!

2004-01-19T19:45:00.000-05:00

To explain why I am pissed, well actually I am, not really pissed just annoyed and kind of...ok pissed! On Wed I told Sean about something ..which I haven't told many people. If you wanna know ask..I'll decided then whether or not I am going to tell you. But anyway so I told him about it. He said he understood and was fine with it. There was a few other sentences where he said he understood. That we would still hang out and be friends. He then had to go but he said he would call me the next day. Yeah well I am still waiting for that call and it is now Monday. We were supposed to hang out over the weekend...obviously we didn't. That isn't even the part that makes me mad or upset. It's the fact that he couldn't tell me that everything wasn't alright. So I had an away message up today basically saying that and he IM'd me saying that he tried calling but he was gone for most of the weekend. It's not like he doesn't call from his cell phone which isn't attached to a wall in his dorm room. Does that sound like a good excuse to you because right now I dunno. I am sick of playing these games with people. The other thing that is mostly pissing me off are my parents but what else is new. I have to go do something quick I'll finish the rest in a second! Kel

2004-01-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

So...My very first blog! I dunno how this is going to turn out but I figured if you don't like it then you don't have to read it. I just needed a place to vent and since I am always on the comp a blog seemed like the best idea. Hence the name venting one. I was originally going to be venting girl but that seemed too young. This guy I know (Aaron) calls me little one. So I figured venting one would be appropriate. To be honest I like it a lot. It might take me a while to figure out how to work and set up everything. Please be patient with me tho. Thanks! Kel